Horton AV announces avian flu vaccine for Linux

Reacting to fears that the avian flu outbreak recently reported in Turkey could spread to Linux, anti-virus vendor Horton AV has released what it calls an effective vaccine.

“We know that Linux is vulnerable to viruses,” claimed Horton AV spokesman Bob Sinister, “but up until now we have been unable to identify any legitimate threats, in spite of our industry’s frequent announcements. Avian flu, however, is a serious threat to Linux, due to Linux’s close association with penguins.”

Sinister insisted that all Linux users should purchase the vaccine immediately to protect their systems. “We’re answering President Bush’s call for a vaccine that is rapid to produce and distribute,” Sinister said.

Horton AV’s quick reaction to President Bush’s call and the outbreak has other anti-virus companies scrambling to come up with their own avian flu vaccines for Linux.

SalmonTec has just released an announcement that they, too, take the avian flu threat to Linux seriously. “SalmonTec believes that the avian flu is the first demonstrable viral threat to Linux due to Linux’s security and permissions infrastructure. No other known virus can go around the security and go straight for the heart of the system. The avian flu is highly evolved, having travelled from Vietnam to Turkey in just two years, we expect it to reach Linux by the middle of 2006,” read a statement from the anti-virus company.

Distributed Evaluation of Corporate Emergencies and Internet Threats (DECEIT) Coordination Centre spokesman William Sturgeon agreed with SalmonTec and Horton AV’s assessment of the avian flu virus, stating, “It is a very dangerous virus. Users should be careful not to open email attachments received from affected countries.”

Tux was unable to comment on the advice of his doctors.