Nestlé to buy Google

Friday, reports surfaced that Microsoft was interested in buying Google. Instead, food giant Nestlé announced that its sweetened offer to buy the Internet search engine company has been accepted.

Google will complement Nestlé’s long list of well-known brands, including Perrier water, Stouffer’s, LifeSavers, and Nesquick.
Nestlé says Google will be renamed NesGoogle and have a recipe section added to its main page.

“We believe that this acquisition will be good for the consumer,” says Nestlé CEO Peter Brabeck. “Now anyone on the Internet can connect to NesGoogle, which will automatically determine their region and point them to retail outlets for Nestlé products.”

Sources close to the deal disclosed that Google CEO Eric Schmidt was coerced into accepting the deal with Nestlé. Mr. Brabeck is alleged to have placed
a large bowl of Nestlé Crunch Pieces in front of Mr. Schmidt during their discussions, refusing to allow him to eat any until agreeing to the takeover, while promising a free lifetime supply upon completion of the deal.

Asked to comment on the deal, Mr. Schmidt had very little to say; his only comment sounded something like “Mmmmmm.”

Nestlé CEO Brabeck, asked what Nestlé plans to buy next, replied that NescroSoft has a nice ring to it.