I am but visiting your fair Planet and find I am myself in some distress. I have with me 72,086,548 Suroof$ from Planet Endradil as legacy from my late host-mother but under interplanetary law I can't not cash them on my own self without I have partner from local Planet, that is Earth which is your Home Planet where I now am because of wildlife protection regulations that keep you Earth Humans from being taken advantage of by the many con artists who inhabit this part of Your Galaxy, a lovely one I might add despite the economic disfortitude of some of its citizens.The thing is that I am not like them, I believe in the holiness of all Beings under the NABIL and this is why I write to you, a stranger among strangers for I am alone here and know no one but heard through your planetwide InterWeb that you are a Person of honesty and de rigeur for help to gain the small amount of exchange cash I need for calling transport to my Home Planet where urgent family matters require my attention even though I would rather stay here on Earth because it is so lovely and you Earth Persons are so kind and loving.
This then is the thing: I escaped barely from Planet Endradil as the Raptors descended upon it and ripped everyone to tiny shards and ate them including my host-mother who is now in a better place I am sure with the NABIL who I believe you call JesusAllah and I am the only keeper of the Legacy which I said is 72,086,548 Suroof$ or what you would call 44 tonnes of element # 79 that you call Gold but I am poor and sick and have no means to move it from the jungle part Your Planet where I landed by accident with my last bit of fuel. It is a place called Nigeria and I can not trust the people here, they are all trying to cheat me out of what I own and I was going to get 25% of a fortune from one who is a relative of a former ruler Abacha but he was a thief and this is why I am reduced to imploring you a stranger part way across the Planet to help me leave instead of having my own Means.
Being law-abiding being I will share 1/2 of the element #79 with you so you will have what you call 22 tonnes of gold which is the same as more currency than people in most countries see ever, I believe billions of the petro-dollars you exchange between nations but this does not matter to me, I am not concerned with my self but in following interplanetary law strictly and taking care of my family obligations under the NABIL you call JesusAllah.
Please help me become unlost, all I ask even beg of you is a little help to transfer the small amount of Gold I have with me, it is just several hunderds pounds or less than half that many kilograms and I can send it to you for safe-keeping please direct to your bank if you kindly send me your full name, social security nomenclature, bank account number and its name and branch and perhaps as an indication of your linage your mother's maiden name so I can commence the transfer.
Once you have this small amount, mere millions, we can work together to hire people and recover the rest so you can become Welthy which is what people on your Planet desire and I can go home which is all I desire.
As a token of my affection I will also leave you my space vessel which contains many technologies that will make your Planet better to live including unlimited power. I do not need my vessel any more for I shall spend the rest of my days in the hands of my Family so it might as well be yours although you may not want to tell any one where you got it for I am suppose not to give advanced technology to such as you but make exception because you are kind and in the face of kindness NABIL laws are the ones that matter.
In hope of love across all Worlds,
AMMSHHp Hoosen
c/o Spaceport Bar #10, Box 44
Lagos Interplanetary Station,
Lagos Nigeria Earth -sys004456/3
Is this the future of 419 spam? NewsForge editor Robin ‘Roblimo’ Miller received this spam last week at his personal email address, possibly through this Web site. Or maybe he just made it up. It’s hard to tell…
Category:
- Humor
