I AM MR. DARL MCBRIDE CURRENTLY SERVING AS THE PRESIDENT AND
CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER OF THE SCO GROUP, FORMERLY KNOWN AS
CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, IN LINDON, UTAH, UNITED STATES OF
AMERICA. I KNOW THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOUR BECAUSE WE HAVE
HAD NO PREVIOUS COMMUNICATIONS OR BUSINESS DEALINGS BEFORE NOW.
Note: This is a *parody* and should not be take seriously – Ed.MY ASSOCIATES HAVE RECENTLY MADE CLAIM TO COMPUTER SOFTWARES
WORTH AN ESTIMATED $1 BILLION U.S. DOLLARS. I AM WRITING TO YOU
IN CONFIDENCE BECAUSE WE URGENTLY REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE TO
OBTAIN THESE FUNDS.
IN THE EARLY 1970S THE AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH
CORPORATION DEVELOPED AT GREAT EXPENSE THE COMPUTER OPERATING
SYSTEM SOFTWARE KNOWN AS UNIX. UNFORTUNATELY THE LAWS OF MY
COUNTRY PROHIBITED THEM FROM SELLING THESE SOFTWARES AND SO THEIR
VALUABLE SOURCE CODES REMAINED PRIVATELY HELD. UNDER A SPECIAL
ARRANGEMENT SOME PROGRAMMERS FROM THE CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY OF
BERKELEY DID ADD MORE CODES TO THIS OPERATING SYSTEM, INCREASING
ITS VALUE, BUT NOT IN ANY WAY TO DILUTE OR DISPARAGE OUR FULL AND
RIGHTFUL OWNERSHIP OF THESE CODES, DESPITE ANY AGREEMENT BETWEEN
AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH AND THE CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY OF
BERKELEY, WHICH AGREEMENT WE DENY AND DISAVOW.
IN THE YEAR 1984 A CHANGE OF REGIME IN MY COUNTRY ALLOWED THE
AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH CORPORATION TO MAKE PROFITS FROM
THESE SOFTWARES. IN THE YEAR 1990 OWNERSHIP OF THESE SOFTWARES
WAS TRANSFERRED TO THE CORPORATION UNIX SYSTEM LABORATORIES. IN
THE YEAR 1993 THIS CORPORATION WAS SOLD TO THE CORPORATION
NOVELL. IN THE YEAR 1994 SOME EMPLOYEES OF NOVELL FORMED THE
CORPORATION CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, WHICH BEGAN TO
DISTRIBUTE AN UPSTART OPERATING SYSTEM KNOWN AS LINUX. IN THE
YEAR 1995 NOVELL SOLD THE UNIX SOFTWARE CODES TO SCO. IN THE YEAR
2001 OCCURRED A SEPARATION OF SCO, AND THE SCO BRAND NAME AND
UNIX CODES WERE ACQUIRED BY THE CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL,
AND IN THE FOLLOWING YEAR THE CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL WAS
RENAMED SCO GROUP, OF WHICH I CURRENTLY SERVE AS CHIEF EXECUTIVE
OFFICER.
MY ASSOCIATES AND I OF THE SCO GROUP ARE THEREFORE THE FULL AND
RIGHTFUL OWNERS OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM SOFTWARES KNOWN AS UNIX.
OUR ENGINEERS HAVE DISCOVERED THAT NO FEWER THAN SEVENTY (70)
LINES OF OUR VALUABLE AND PROPRIETARY SOURCE CODES HAVE APPEARED
IN THE UPSTART OPERATING SYSTEM LINUX. AS YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE,
THIS GIVES US A CLAIM ON THE MILLIONS OF LINES OF VALUABLE
SOFTWARE CODES WHICH COMPRISE THIS LINUX AND WHICH HAS BEEN SOLD
AT GREAT PROFIT TO VERY MANY BUSINESS ENTERPRISES. OUR LEGAL
EXPERTS HAVE ADVISED US THAT OUR CONTRIBUTION TO THESE CODES IS
WORTH AN ESTIMATED ONE (1) BILLION U.S. DOLLARS.
UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE HAVING DIFFICULTY EXTRACTING OUR FUNDS FROM
THESE COMPUTER SOFTWARES. TO THIS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE
MANDATE BY MY COLLEAGUES TO CONTACT YOU AND ASK FOR YOUR
ASSISTANCE. WE ARE PREPARED TO SELL YOU A SHARE IN THIS
ENTERPRISE, WHICH WILL SOON BE VERY PROFITABLE, THAT WILL GRANT
YOU THE RIGHTS TO USE THESE VALUABLE SOFTWARES IN YOUR BUSINESS
ENTERPRISE. UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE NOT ABLE AT THIS TIME TO SET A
PRICE ON THESE RIGHTS. THEREFORE IT IS OUR RESPECTFUL SUGGESTION,
THAT YOU MAY BE IMMEDIATELY A PARTY TO THIS ENTERPRISE, BEFORE
OTHERS ACCEPT THESE LUCRATIVE TERMS, THAT YOU SEND US THE NUMBER
OF A BANKING ACCOUNT WHERE WE CAN WITHDRAW FUNDS OF A SUITABLE
AMOUNT TO GUARANTEE YOUR PARTICIPATION IN THIS ENTERPRISE. AS AN
ALTERNATIVE YOU MAY SEND US THE NUMBER AND EXPIRATION DATE OF
YOUR MAJOR CREDIT CARD, OR YOU MAY SEND TO US A SIGNED CHECK FROM
YOUR BANKING ACCOUNT PAYABLE TO “SCO GROUP” AND WITH THE AMOUNT
LEFT BLANK FOR US TO CONVENIENTLY SUPPLY.
KINDLY TREAT THIS REQUEST AS VERY IMPORTANT AND STRICTLY
CONFIDENTIAL. I HONESTLY ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100%
LEGAL AND RISK-FREE.
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(I received this by email through the email list “UMBCLINUX,” sponsored by the University of Maryland Baltimore Counth Linux Users Group.)
Category:
- Management
